The 8 o'clock sky

I woke up this morning to the bluest sky I've seen in weeks, and you know what I thought? "It's so freakin blue!" NOT "I should go outside and smoke!" After an awful night of tossing and turning and rearranging this blanket or that pillow, I woke up clear headed and ready to face the day. In about six more hours I'll have officially reached the 48 hour mark. It feels like it's been longer than that, but I guess time slows when you're constantly thinking about a nicotine bump.

And I've been thinking about a nicotine bump. I have a midterm today. Normally I wake up in the morning, have a smoke, then go back inside and do my homework. During my homework I usually take a couple cigarette breaks - what I always liked about them is that they are (almost) a standard measure of time. I knew that if I took a cigarette break I would be able to go outside, get some fresh air for 5-10 minutes, and come right back in and sit down, still focused. Almost any other "break" activity would lead to a distraction, or tangent, and I would forget about my work. I guess that's all a question of mental strength and focus, but honestly it's taken me three and a half years, a blog, and my diminishing health to even get me to earnestly pack away the smokes (pun intended!).

Anyways. The midterm will suck. What will suck even more is the break between my midterm and the class I have half an hour later. Here's why: As a smoker, it's easier to make friends with other smokers in your classes, so pretty much all my friends in my Lit classes are smokers. I know that in the break between two classes that I share with my smoker friends, they'll all trip outside and stand around in a circle and talk about the midterm - and smoke.

I know I don't have to go stand with them or anything. I know that I will have to face temptation one way or another. But I'm really worried I'll crumble. What should I do?